Ah i so dont want to work on Rhino right now -_- Im getting so distracted in my room i honestly cant do any work here. I then ended up reminiscing about JIS, past relationships which i wont go into so much here, but in my other online journal somewhere 0=) Then another half hour just staring into space beating myself up over things. How i acted, how i should have acted. What happened if i actually kept it going.
Theres no point crying over spilled milk.
Well after all that, I thank God for coming into my life. Who knows what i would have turned to if i did not have Him.
We had this pastor from Africa come in to talk to us at SR. He was going on about relationships. An issue ive been struggling with for quite a while. Trying to differentiate things right from wrong. I know i have a problem with being open, so thats why now, Im not going to rush into anything without getting to know a person inside and out. I'm pretty picky when it comes to guys and relationships. I have certain standards haha, i guess they're pretty high. I wont go into details what i look for in a guy la, if you want to know just ask me :P I know what kind of guy i want to marry, i know what kind of family i want to have. is it too soon to be thinking about these things? haha Im in no rush nor am i going to worry about this anymore. I trust in Him.
3:20 AM
Thursday, January 24, 2008
one of my favorite songs, never do i get sick of listening to it. Man that guy's voice is just so dreamy.
If i could just see You everything would be alright..
10:54 PM
Friday, January 18, 2008
Would anyone believe me if i told them that the internet here is worse than Espeed -_- you know you usually think that these top universities would have SUPER DUPER high speed internet but no. They purposely make it lambat so you buy the faster internet package.
Another project down, few million to go. Construction project, ah so tedious. But its worth it, im so amazed at the detail in my work, it looked so professional heh heh. I was so proud of myself until i went to reviews -_- . I saw other students work and i was just like -_- crap, they're just so amazing. YAH so u can guess the marks that i got, it was border line. Cause the standard is so freaking high. It was out of 70, and my tutor was giving me marks out of 5, and all i saw were 3s and i got one 4!! :D but yea i also got a 1 -_-''''''' cause i forgot to do drawings at 1:20 gwash so dumb la, i even forgot to put in a heater, like wat da right? WHO in the UK forgets to put a heater in. -_- i got everything else but the heater and my 1:20 drawings dumbass la. So hoping i would get over 35 which im assuming is the pass mark, my tutor was on the last category to give me marks and i was on a 32, i need a 3 to pass. And i could see his pen hovering over the 2 then the 3 then the 2 then the 3. But he gave me a 3 bahaha HOYAH.
Found a house to live in next year with 3 other architect students! WEE HEE :P Its a good house, 58 pounds per week, 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, huge living area, huge back garden with an apple, plum and lemon tree i think. We're picking rooms out of a hat, so i hope i don't get the small room.
Weather has been weird here. Everytime i have to stay in its sunny, everytime i have to go out its windy and raining. Sun rain sun rain sun rain BLAH. Umbrellas dont work in the UK.
Im feeling like i just got my heartbroken. Im feeling so empty inside. I hate it when i turn off the light and try to fall asleep its when i can really feel the silence.
And i dont know..the feeling im having.. I can see myself slipping away from Him. Its burning out.
I dont know anymore. I dont know what my purpose is life is anymore. I dont even know if i was meant to become an architect. You know what was i meant to do? If Actually tried out for music, and played music my whole life.
Im scared ill miss on alot, 7 years is a long time. Im scared im not going to have anyone to come to at the end of the day. But i guess thats all to do with my insecurity of having to be loved all the time.
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